T.C.I.F. (Try Change, It’s Friday!)
Friday is the favorite day of the workweek for most people. It’s the beginning of the weekend, a time to focus on family and home. For some, it’s the beginning of their second job. Today, I spoke with a man that saw it as just another day.
He spoke of how he didn’t feel as though he had any hope, nor had any avenue to move forward in his life. He didn’t believe that he could take care of his basic needs, nor that he had the access to the resources he needed to be able to “do anything.” I was saddened to hear this negativity and frustrated to hear his doubt.
I asked him, “so, what are you doing to change your situation?” He looked at me as though I had spoken a foreign language. “Nobody has offered me help,” he said.
Way too often, when things don’t go the way we want, we feel like life is treating us unfair or that we are entitled to a different outcome. We feel “down” on ourselves and justified in our complaints. Majority of the time, regardless of how bad we feel that things are going at the moment, there are more things going RIGHT. Focus on what is going RIGHT and those things that are going WRONG will diminish in importance.
Let’s say your health is just “okay” right now, but not great…”okay” is better than “bad”, right? Then that’s something that’s going RIGHT! Focus on that as a positive. This helps shift your way of thinking and creates ways for more good and positive thoughts to come through for you.
Complaining about a situation but not taking some action toward change is not actually DOING something about the situation. What it is actually DOING is keeping you stuck in the same spot and powerless in the problem. Any little change/action you make toward the situation is better than staying stuck. Taking a step, no matter how small, brings you that much closer to a resolution to a problem: research your choices, seek out resources, start conversations, etc. If it matters enough, if it makes you unhappy enough, it will be important enough for you to make a change.
Since no one can change the past, if you are playing the “Blame Game” with other people or circumstances, you are setting yourself up to never be happy…notice how I said NEVER! When YOU keep the past alive and well in your TODAY, you are victimizing yourself. No matter what has happened in your past, someone somewhere lived through worse and went on to create happiness, success and peace in their life and YOU can too!
Consider this, YOU are the consistent presence in all your relationships and experiences and you are the person most empowered to make a change in your life. If you are unhappy in a personal relationship don’t focus on what the other person needs to do differently instead ask yourself “What can I do differently to make it better?” If you are unhappy in your job, try focusing on the things about your job that are going well…begin by being thankful you have a job. Your happiness is your responsibility.
So what are you doing to change your situation? Are you waiting for someone to give you the answers, or are you out there looking for the answers?